Written By: Rogers Mugisha (Executive Director, Help the Crying Voices, Sheema district); Mathias Mulumba (Executive Director, Forum for Early childhood Development Association – FECDA, Kampala); Pius Patrick Akol (Trainer, Uwezo Uganda) and Mary Goretti Nakabugo (Executive Director, Uwezo Uganda)
Introduction
In the rain-drenched communities of Kampala and the rolling hills of Sheema district, a quiet undertaking began in late May 2025 – of fundamental human interaction – with parents reflecting on their practices to truly listen to and deal with their children’s questions. This exercise is part of Action for Life skills and Values in East Africa (ALiVE) ongoing parental engagement drive in six districts in Uganda[1] aimed at enhancing the capacity of parents and communities to nurture their children’s life skills, such as problem-solving.
At the heart of problem-solving, ALiVE believes that “Curiosity and Questioning” is a critical ingredient. In this article, we draw on examples from parental engagement dialogue meetings that took place in an urban community of Kirombe, Bunga in Kampala and a rural community of Sheema district (Kyabigo II Cell) on 22nd and 24th May 2025 respectively, to illustrate parents’ engagement with their children’s questions. The insights from the two locations transcend these particular communities. They indicate a widespread, often overlooked fact that-curiosity is a bedrock of problem-solving. Without the freedom to question, to probe, to wonder “how?” or “why?”, the development of cognitive muscles needed for life’s complexities is stifled.
The silence before the storm: why curiosity gets stifled
The scenes across districts were telling. In Kampala’s Bunga, Kirombe community, children played amidst crowded conditions, their innate curiosity undimmed. Yet when facilitators guided parents, a disconcerting pattern emerged. Asked to recall surprising questions asked by their children, parents admitted to a feeling of helplessness. “Mummy, why does daddy shout at you?” prompted deflection from a mother fearing damage to her child’s confidence. Conversely a question like; “daddy smoking is bad, but why do you smoke?” confronted a father with his behaviour, provoking defensive explanations.
In Sheema’s Kyabigo II Cell, similar patterns surfaced. The facilitator emphasised how children “always want to know,” touching and feeling to understand and yet participants shared telling examples of suppressed curiosity. Take for instance, one grandmother being asked her surname by her granddaughter, but refusing to answer, insisting the child simply call her “granny.” In a similar approach, a mother declined to explain to her granddaughter the circumstances surrounding her grandfather’s death, believing she was “still a kid” to engage in such a sensitive matter.
Facilitators across districts learnt that only a few parents consistently engaged their children’s curiosity. Most shrugged off questions or offered false replies. The reasons were predominantly a general lack of knowledge of what to do and/or unawareness of the link between curiosity and broader life skills. This was starkly framed in Sheema, where the facilitator shared a fact from ALiVE 2022 assessment report showing that only 3% of Ugandan adolescents could recognise problems from multiple perspectives and suggest solutions. In response, a local leader from Sheema bluntly noted; “either we are not knowledgeable or badly off in helping our children solve problems within our homes” and this discontent was similarly echoed with an observation by a father in Kirombe, Kampala that “most of us don’t know how to respond to our children.”
Why stifling children’s questions is detrimental
The dialogues in the two sample communities revealed the vital connections on the importance of allowing children ask the “why” questions and how to fix it.
Curiosity fuels investigation: A child in Kampala asking “how does the picture enter the television?” or “How did grandpa die?” as inquired by a child in Sheema-is taking the first problem-solving step to identifying the unknown. By shutting this dialogue down, the investigation gets halted.
Questioning builds analytical skills: Asking why daddy shouts or smokes is observing cause and effect. By parents deflecting-is to prevent analysis of situations and their various ramifications.
Suppressed curiosity breeds passivity: If questions are met with dismissal such as, “don’t disturb me” or evasion, children stop seeking external understanding, thereby hindering their agency.
The barriers to cultivating curiosity:
Beyond limited capacity, there are contextual barriers that likely influence efforts in encouraging children questioning and arousing their curiosity in view of urbanisation vs rural contexts.
Urban Kampala: The rapid urbanisation eroded the “village benefit”. As one father observed, the African saying that “a child belongs to the community” no longer held true due to the multi-ethnic influx that leads parents to “self-correct” their children without community support, thus limiting children’s exposure to diverse problem-solving approaches.
Rural Sheema: Limited access to information and awareness: A radio caller from Kashenyi epitomised the awareness gap: He thought problem-solving meant only “hands-on activities like tailoring or shoe making,” unaware of its cognitive foundations.
Both contexts share a consequence-which is; children may be having limited options to learn life skills such as problem-solving. ALiVE’s movement-building – like Sheema’s plan for parents participating in the ongoing parental engagement drive to “teach others in the community” – seeks to rebuild supportive ecosystems.
Conclusion: Building Problem-Solvers, One “why?” at a time
The first week of ALiVE parental engagement drive across diverse Ugandan communities offered more than reports; it delivered a powerful case study on the essential art of nurturing curiosity. It exposed how parents often unknowingly stifle the impulse fundamental to problem-solving. The barriers are also real–and include, among others; lack of awareness, cultural habits favouring conformity, and urbanisation’s erosion of community. Yet, the path forward is clear. Creating spaces for parents to confront practices and learn new ways enables profound shifts as seen in Sheema’s commitment to share with others. The child asking “why?” isn’t being difficult; they are engaging in the foundational act of learning. As parents or guardians and caretakers embrace their children’s “whys,” they do more than answer questions; they are building the problem-solvers of tomorrow – children with the ability to navigate their world.
[1] Kampala, Sheema, Mukono, Oyam, Kanungu and Tororo
